It’s your first date with the man of your dreams. You’re feeling good and you want your date to feel good too. So, what’s the key to keeping self-esteem levels sky-high for both daters all date through? It’s simple: get the man to order a steak.

We get a whole lot of queries on this one - mainly from celebrity correspondents Henry Kissinger and Melissa Doyle (from Sunrise). 'How DO you do it?' they keep asking us. 'How do you keep up this incredible stream of not-work?' Today we give top tips to our fave celeb correspondents as well as to people who are poor and not celebrities and people whose children are not their top priority and not well known to the Sunrise team.

You’re at home, you’re green at the gills and you have a whole bunch of legitimate concerns about how your illness is impacting on your sense of identity and capacity for self-expression.But hold your horses right there, kiddo!  There are actually a great many avenues for creative fulfilment when you’re home sick if you’ll only take the time to explore them! 

Earlier this week at Lemondrop they ran an uplifting story on the secret regrets of women in their thirties. Some highlights:

"I regret getting so comfortable in my marriage (which ultimately failed) that I let myself go and now, as a single mom pushing 40 and 300lbs, nobody wants me and I'm facing a life utterly alone and lonely with no way to change it." -- Female, 38 

"I regret that my marriage has turned out like my parents. We stay married for our daughter and financial reasons but neither of us are brave enough to admit it." -- Female,34 

It goes on and on like this and yep, it's pretty depressing. But HOLD ON! Stop your self-harming right there, because after reading this story, we at howtohownotto.com got to thinking….aren't we missing the other side of this story? What are the regrets of thirtysomething mosquitoes? So we swatted down some 14-day-old female mosquitoes (that’s about 30 in human years)and asked them to tell all. Their confessions will shock you!

It is not easy to capture the terror and hysteria of 'The Scream' authentically. But it can be done and it can be done well.

Call your kid 'Remnant'. It's dazzlingly original, works nicely for either a boy or a girl and addresses many trends in modern baby-naming:

It's easy to be the insultingest little turd on the block if you stick to tried and true methods and don't get carried away with the fancy-pants tactics.

If you are serious about not de-sexing this pig, stay away from his balls. Here's how it's done:

Do not utilise disgusting idiom when responding to drink offers.

Anyone can excel at the supermarket. It's a simple matter of self-possession and spam tins.

Keep it brief. Nobody genuinely wants to hear you talk about your dog/rabbit/mule.